Please Forgive Me
by In Darkness Is Light
Summary: [DH Spoiler] Severus replaying the day where he screwed up their friendship forever. Songfic to Let's Be Us Again by Lonestar.


_Tell me what I have to do tonight  
'Cause I'd do anything to make it right  
Let's be us again_

Snape couldn't believe it. How could he have been so stupid? So stupid to call his best friend, Lily, the girl he loved, a mudblood?__

I'm sorry for the way I lost my head  
I don't know why I said the things I said  
Let's be us again  


As he waited outside for her to come out, all he could do was stare blankly at the wall, the words he'd yelled resounding in his head over and over again. 'MUDBLOOD!' 'MUDBLOOD!' 'MUDBLOOD!'

_  
Here I stand  
With everything to lose  
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end_

Waiting outside the Gryffindor common room, he realized how much he really could lose. Her friendship, which meant the world to him, was going to evaporate into thin air. He couldn't have new memories with her, he would need to keep himself sane with the old ones, reminding himself of the good times.

He couldn't lose her. He just couldn't.

_  
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Let's be us again_

Oh us again

Look at me, I'm way past pride  
Isn't there some way that we can try  
To be us again

What else did he have to lose? Pride wasn't an issue here. For god's sakes, he was willing to sleep outside her common room all night long if that's what it took! And follow her the next day until she forgave him! No matter how long it would take, he'd repeat the process over and over again!

_  
Even if it takes a while  
I'll wait right here until I see that smile  
That says we're us again  
_

One little mistake, and he had screwed it up right there. The only true friend he ever had was probably never going to forgive him. But it was worth a try. She came out and to his begging she remained impartial, unfazed. Hiding the hurt behind her eyes, she glanced down at him, the really pathetic figure blubbering useless apologies falling onto deaf ears.

'Save your breath,' she told him harshly.

Well, at least she was still talking to him.

All he wanted to do was sit and wait now, wait until she finally gave him some form of a smile, the one that told him they were going to still be ok, that their friendship wasn't completely unsalvageable.

_  
Here I stand  
With everything to lose  
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end_

Watching her climb back through the portrait and into the Gryffindor common room, it hit him. He wasn't getting a second chance, not from her. The severity of what he had done had shattered their friendship, leaving both of them, Lily and Severus, broken.

_  
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Let's be us  
_

Speaking out loud to no one, he stood and yelled for hours. 'PLEASE!' 'PLEASE!' 'FORGIVE ME!' He knew she couldn't hear him, so what was the use. Still, he felt like he needed to punish himself, and going completely hoarse and nearly insane from your own unheard pleas, definitely qualified as a good form of punishment.

Finally, after about 3 hours of screaming his lungs out, tired and surprised that no one had come to stop him, he turned away from the portrait of the Fat Lady and whispered the last few words, 'I love you Lily, I just hope you know that'.

_  
Baby baby what would I do  
I can't imagine life without you  
_

He had gotten back to the Slytherin common room and ignored all the cheers he received from his housemates for having called Lily a mudblood. He threw the group a death glare before slamming the door to his dormitory.

_  
Here I stand  
With everything to lose  
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end  
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in_

He wasn't proud of what he'd done but when he'd seen her, her lips actually twitching into some form of a smile at his predicament, he'd wanted to hurt her, hurt her so bad like she'd hurt him. Now, it didn't even matter that she had nearly smiled for James Potter while he was hanging Snape upside down. Now, he'd be grateful to see her smile, whether it was to mock him or not it didn't matter. Just to see that smile once more, he'd do anything.

Then it hit him. The final, painful realization that no matter what happened, he would love her until his dying day, even if she wanted nothing to do with him.__

Oh, here I am  
I'm reaching out for you  
So won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Let's be us again

Oh let's be us again


End file.
